A Message from Lord Saban Concerning Tonight’s Proceedings

That is all, carry on.

Case of the Mondays

Woman of the Week: Madison Welch.  She’s a British model so that means she has an overly large chest and will end up dating some footie player with bad teeth.
  • Sating goodbye to Tim Tebow [NCAA Fanhouse]
  • Soaking in a Sugar Bowl beatdown (beatdown is a compound word when describing that game) [EDSBS]
  • You know, Urban Meyer’s life is just like a sitcom [Hey Jenny Slater]
  • Jevan Snead’s season wrapped up in a tidy .gif  [LWS]
  • The Cotton Bowl came to a merciful ending [RCR]
  • Steve Spurrier is apologetic after South Carolina’s bowl showing [Dr. Saturday]
  • Texas Tech fans arent real thrilled with Adam James [SbB]
  • Everything else you wanted to know about the Texas Tech situation [TheSportingBlog]
  • Who is the new defensive coordinator at Georgia [Leather Helmet Blog]
  • UT hoops players uphold the recent Vawls trend…sans a Prius [Deadspin]
  • Lee Corso tries to shake a blind kids hand, hilarity ensues.  [Busted Coverage]
  • Jacory Harris is a fan of Super Mario Brothers [CGB]


Bama Fan Gets Kids Ready for BCS Championship Game with New Tattoos

“Kids, get the homemade guitar string tat machine and let momma and daddy sleeve you up.” ($1 to Will)

Meet PattyJo Marsh…mother, Bama fan, and amateur tattoo artist. On Friday, PattyJo and her husband were arrested after tattooing six of their children with her homemade tat machine: “a plastic pen body with a needle made of a guitar string connected to an electric motor.” But don’t y0u worry about those kids, for PattyJo, it’s always safety first:

the guitar string that you use in the homemade gun we changed it out every time.

Good to see she’s careful. And just a suggestion, PattyJo, your 7-yr old son that was too young this year for a tattoo, will likely be too young next year too…and probably the year after that. Once he’s 10 years old, well…that’s double digits, so that should be old enough.

[HT: Chip via FB]


Mispronunciations and $90 Dollar Pizzas: Liveblog of the Cotton Bowl from JerryWorld

Since WordPress is a fascist regime that frowns upon the public demonstrations of opposition and the use of certain liveblog applications, Ill be Live Tweeting the Cotton Bowl festivities over at the FOTP Twitter.  Stop by, for no other reason than to have an annotated list of corrections for all of the names and factual information that Pat Summerall is sure to blow through with all of the gusto of a man with little time left and little to lose and a live mic in his hand possesses.


Happy New Year from Your Friends of the Program

Drunk Eli and FOTP remind our readers to take all things in moderation as you ring in the new year this evening because theres a full slate of football games over the next two days and they aren’t near as fun to watch while you are peeling your face off of the floor while fighting down the burning bile that that 2 AM run to Taco Bell has now produced.  The Program will take a break tomorrow but will come roaring back with a live blog of the Cotton Bowl on Saturday, because someone has to be here to interpret what Pat Summerall is saying.

Pirates Everywhre Are A Little On Edge These Days

It seems that the Mike Leach fiasco has men of the swashbuckling persuasion everywhere in a fighting mood.  Such was the case this afternoon at the AutoZone Liberty Bowl Luncheon where two East Carolina players, Running Back Jonathan and a yet-to-be-named Pirate, got into a fight with each other (Pirates have never been known to be a loyal lot), turning over a table at the luncheon in the process.

The lesson, as always, Angry Pirates will lead to some sort of violence.

UPDATE:  The fight was over dessert.  Not for nothing, banana bread pudding in Memphis is usually deliscious.

[via Jorday Stuckey and WoW]


Look at the Balls on Idaho, Will Ya

Idaho Coach Robb Akey (who sounds incredibly like Michael P.S. Hayes) has large stones, as so aptly demonstrated by his team’s willingness to stare certain defeat square in the eyes and laugh at it’s general insinuation that the game is over.  While the most overt display of enlarged genitalia,was evident during the waning moments of the game, Bowling Green, and the World, was put on notice much earlier in the contest.