A Very Special Bama Fan Flame Critique

In our constant effort to be fair and balanced around here, I cannot, in good conscience, comment on the above.  My red and blue-leaning tendencies make any commentary by me seem biased and retaliatory.  I’d rather others with less partisanship than I lead the charge here.  That’s why Ive asked a few well known gentlemen who bear resemblance to the Alabama fan above to comment in my stead…

johnnyJohnny Lawrence, Korbra Kai Dojo:

I had a really difficult time listening to what he was saying. Those hand movements were really distracting.  And as you know, unnecessary bodily gyrations have been a problem for me in the past.

zackZack Morris, Bayside High School:

Im not sure an Alabama fan should be talking about anyone else as “white trash”.  I dated Tori, so I know white trash when I see it.


teddybeckerstedTeddy Beckersted, Heir to the Beckersted lobster fortune:

A refined gentleman from Nantucket knows better than to wear pink pastels after Regatta season…and to never loan your car keys to Bobcat Goldthwait.


Mitchell Goosen, surfer, roller blader, stuck in Cincinnati:

Brah, Julio Jones is nothing until he beats me down Devil’s Backbone.

gregtollanGreg Tolan, High School Cafeteria bully:

No script and poor  and unfunny ad lib!?  This guy deserves a beating…or a full table of cafeteria food poured in his lap.


John Parker Wilson, former Alabama quarterback:

Say what you will, but that guys hair looks amazing.




Sandy Duncan, Television star, owner of a glass eye:

Oh, this is such bullshit.  Why am I being included in this?!


11 responses to “A Very Special Bama Fan Flame Critique

  1. I’m glad he was able to break away from the latest episode of Glee long enough to make that video. I hope he tivo’d the part he missed, lest his boyfriend become upset and take his class ring back.

  2. Sandy Duncan piece was GOELD!

  3. Yes…Airborne namedrop!!

  4. I’m detecting a hint of Wayne Arnold (The Wonder Years) in this fellow as well.

  5. I raise your One Crazy Summer reference take you back to 1985 This kid reminds me of Beth (Amanda Wyss) who Lane Meyer (John Cusack) obsesses over in one of the best movies ever – Better off Dead


    – “Ain’t that a shame, throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy.”

  6. ONE CRAZY SUMMER reference = win

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