In our constant effort to be fair and balanced around here, I cannot, in good conscience, comment on the above. My red and blue-leaning tendencies make any commentary by me seem biased and retaliatory. I’d rather others with less partisanship than I lead the charge here. That’s why Ive asked a few well known gentlemen who bear resemblance to the Alabama fan above to comment in my stead…
Johnny Lawrence, Korbra Kai Dojo:
I had a really difficult time listening to what he was saying. Those hand movements were really distracting. And as you know, unnecessary bodily gyrations have been a problem for me in the past.
Zack Morris, Bayside High School:
Im not sure an Alabama fan should be talking about anyone else as “white trash”. I dated Tori, so I know white trash when I see it.
Teddy Beckersted, Heir to the Beckersted lobster fortune:
A refined gentleman from Nantucket knows better than to wear pink pastels after Regatta season…and to never loan your car keys to Bobcat Goldthwait.
Mitchell Goosen, surfer, roller blader, stuck in Cincinnati:
Brah, Julio Jones is nothing until he beats me down Devil’s Backbone.
Greg Tolan, High School Cafeteria bully:
No script and poor and unfunny ad lib!? This guy deserves a beating…or a full table of cafeteria food poured in his lap.
John Parker Wilson, former Alabama quarterback:
Say what you will, but that guys hair looks amazing.
Sandy Duncan, Television star, owner of a glass eye:
Oh, this is such bullshit. Why am I being included in this?!