The Program’s Picks

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Every week the the degenerate gamblers who run this site attempt to pick games for the upcoming college football weekend. We are usually completely and totally wrong, blinded by team allegiance, alumni status, and probably a 5th of Makers. That being the case, we’ve enlisted help of professionals…not for the Makers problem, but for the gambling one. The Geek Sheet experts have decided to set us all straight this season. They’ll be here to give you the winners, blow your mind with high level statistical analysis, and shamelessly plug their own site…which is something we have great admiration for. Be sure to check out their site for more. Now, on to the picks…

Records

The Juice: 31-18-1

Mike Medallion: 19-30-1

Bunkie Perkins: 26-23-1

The Geek: 23-26-1

UT -4 ½ @ Ole miss

The Juice: Tennessee. NEVER count Crompton out. Or is it never count Crompton in? Whichever I hate that Greg Hardy has retired for the year at Ole Miss. His services will be missed against a devastating runner like Ontarrio Travesty (is that right?) and a rolling out Crompton. A showing by Good Snead could go a long way for the Rebs, but an Evil Snead sighting could spell disaster. I’m thinking a Tennessee team on a hot streak of moral victories, pulls out a real win in Oxford this weekend.

Mike Medallion: Tennessee. I have given up commentary indefinitely. See My Record (19-30-1).

Bunkie Perkins: Tennessee. This was the craziest looking line earlier in the week, but then after the whole Pellet gun/Prius crime wave that has hit selected Pilot Filling Stations in the greater Knoxville area, the spread looks a little more realistic.  Ole Miss is limping home down the stretch, while Tennessee has gotten progressively better as the year has gone on.  It’ll also be Coach O’s return to Oxford so you can bet he’ll be voicing his urgency for a win to his players in his most broken and profanity laced Creole tounge.

The Geek: UThug. Our models were all over the place on this game.  I guess we will wait until the official police report to see who actually is eligible for the game Saturday (http://www.knoxsheriff.org – (865) 215-2476).  From what our intelligence has gathered from the DA, I would say UThug wins this one outright.

Iowa +17 @ Ohio St.

TJ: Iowa. Thanks Bunkie for choosing this Big 11 snooze-fest over THE DEEP SOUTH’S OLDEST RIVALRY. I see how it is going to be. I’ll go with Iowa because 17 points seems like a lot and I’m sure it is going to be so cold and dreary there nobody will really care to play long enough to take any sort of 17 point lead.

MM: OSU. Again, no comment. See above.

BP: Ohio St. Put a fork in Iowa, they are done.  Ricky Stanzi is likely calling it a season and it looks like Terrell Pryor is hitting his stride.  Off a big win over Penn St., I think the be-sweater vested one takes care of business in the Shoe.

The Geek: Iowa. Most of our models thinks that the Hawk Eyes make this respectable.  One little loss to NW and everyone turns on them like an out of control chimpanzee.  I love betting against Ohio State and their world beater QB…but whatever you do, don’t bet on this game and their world-beater QB.  It smells like corn wrapped in burnt hair.

Notre Dame +6 ½ @ Pitt

TJ. Notre Dame. Notre Dame rebounds with a point spread victory, BUT they lose. Haha. Yeah they lose again. Weis is booted (the boot is never recovered). Saban is offered $20,000,000 a year and papacy if he wants it.

MM. Pitt. F-Notre Dame (in general but also for the Navy game last week). There I said something.

BP: Pitt. Who would have even fathomed that I’d consider a Wanstache/Weiss match-up a major mismatch in Pitt’s favor? Notre Dame, finally, has been exposed for the over-hyped boy band that they have turned into…but that ain’t stopping ABC/ESPN from running their game in primetime like they are the By God Number One team in the country.

The Geek: Pitt. Let me start off by saying that I hate Notre Dame.  With that being said, Pitt is the side here.  Charlie is desperately fighting for his job…and life if you consider his cholesterol, and his Adult-Onset Diabetes Mellitus (Type II).I’ll go with the skinner coach.

Stanford +11 @ USC

TJ: USC. This was an actual tweet by Pete Carroll this week that leads me to believe he has USC ready to roll: “congrats to @taylorswift13 for sweeping the CMAs! she obviously had a great year of competing & kicking butt… keep it up!”

MM: USC.  No comment, but why are we picking a PAC-10 game again?

BP: Stanford. With every week that goes by, USC is being outed for not being that fire breathing hound of hell that they have been for going on 10 years now.  Stanford has the better quarterback and a Coach that has already seen a fair share of success against the Trojans.  This one is a barn burner.

The Geek: Stanford. Look for The Cardinals to keep this one close.  Jimmy Harbaugh is interviewing for the Notre Dame job on Saturday @ 3PM.  Keep an eye on the outright win.  Also, keep an eye on Jim Harbaugh’s wife.   Seriously…look at her.  She’s ridiculous.

BONUS PICKS

Auburn (+4.5) @ Georgia

TJ: Auburn. No matter how hard you try Bunkie, you can’t stop me from picking AUBURN (as long as Evil Todd stays home).

MM. University of Auburn. Just because Juice picked this game, which meant I didn’t have to go look for a line to another game.

LSU -24 v. Louisiana Tech

BP: LSU. I saw Tech with my own baby blues last week.  They emptied the tank against Boise and they dont have a drop left for the trip to Baton Rouge.  Even with Jarrett Lee starting, LSU rolls in this one.  Tigers by at least 30.

San Diego State (-7) v. Wyoming

The Geek: San Diego State. This is one of our recommended plays for the week.  We have a lifetime record (5 years) of 63% (245-147-8), including 68% (52-24-1) last year! We are finalizing our card for this week but it looks like we’ll have 6-7 recommended plays on Saturday (including SDSU).   We usually have 3-5 games a week we take a very hard look at but decided to pass on.  You can sign up to receive these plays free of charge by visiting our website, www.thegeeksheetsports.com

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One response to “The Program’s Picks

  1. You might contact Gregory from the UT helmet post. With a decent pitch, you could probably talk him into taking any bet you concoct.

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