Avoiding Shreveport

Shreveport…when you gotta go, you gotta go

There are very few things more disheartening among SEC than the prospects of spending the bowl season at the Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana . But a mediocre season and an 8th place finish in the toughest conferences in the land will get you some nice parting gifts and an all expenses paid trip to the Port City. Teams and fans alike are sure to enjoy the oppressive heat, street violence, and…hey look, casinos! But this year it means even more as the shamefully proud Indy Bowl is cutting ties with both the SEC and Big 12, instead choosing to disappoint a whole new batch of fans from the ACC and Mountain West in the coming years. So, its time to get sentimental people! Its the last run in Shreveport for the SEC, so lets make it count! Time to cash in those free Jack Binion’s Horseshoe buffet vouchers before its too late! And to commemorate this last year, every week FOTP will be taking a look at which SEC teams have the best chance of going bowling in East Texas the third most glamorous city in the Bayou State.

1.  South Carolina (6-5, 3-5) Spurrier just might as well buy a house in Northwest Louisiana.  As has been par for the course for Darth Visor for the past few seasons, November proves to be unkind.  His teams continue to end each season with a firey plane crash that leaves no survivors…thankfully, I believe those flight vouchers are still redeemable for Shreveport Regional Airport flights.  Three straight conference losses are to blame for the Cocks out-of-nowhere rise to the top of our poll. 

2.  Kentucky (6-4, 2-4) and Georgia (6-4, 4-3) Independence Bowl officials making the trip to this game should plan on wearing their slacks that have those convenient elastic waists, because they should anticipate an embarrassment of riches and possibly some delicious prime rib being laid at their feet by both of these schools over the weekend.  It wont be so much a “please pick us” offering as it will be a blood sacrifice to the selection committee to spare the wrath of the Port City and passover their school for their opponent instead.  Lambs blood over the door to the AD’s suite couldn’t hurt either.

4.  Tennessee (5-5, 2-4)  Its a shame that Lane Kiffin had to dismiss those players involved in the attempted robbery from last week, those types of skills would be greatly appreciated in Shreveport, especially in those neighborhoods right outside of Independence Stadium.  Disappointment aside, UT has some winable games left with Kentucky and Vandy, but they have to find someone other than Eric Berry who can make a tackle.

5.  Auburn (7-4, 3-4)  Losers of 4 of their last 6, Auburn comes limping in to the Iron Bowl after a tough loss at Georgia.  Look for the Tigers to give Bama a competitive final test before they head to Atlanta, but a loss to the Tide makes them fair game for a bowl and associated festivities that may or may nort involve a comedy experience like no other (Oooh look, Mike Epps!).

Out of the Poll this week: Ole Miss, Mississippi State, Arkansas

Other receiving votes: Arkansas, Ole Miss, Meth labs, Mayor Cedric Glover’s thyroid condition

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One response to “Avoiding Shreveport

  1. It won’t be Kentucky, the bowl is scheduled at the exact same time as the UK-Louisville basketball game.

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