The Program’s Picks

sportsbook_bigscreens

Every week the the degenerate gamblers who run this site attempt to pick games for the upcoming college football weekend. We are usually completely and totally wrong, blinded by team allegiance, alumni status, and probably a 5th of Makers. That being the case, we’ve enlisted help of professionals…not for the Makers problem, but for the gambling one. The Geek Sheet experts have decided to set us all straight this season. They’ll be here to give you the winners, blow your mind with high level statistical analysis, and shamelessly plug their own site…which is something we have great admiration for. Be sure to check out their site for more. Now, on to the picks…

Records

The Juice: 37-27-1

Mike Medallion: 20-44-1

Bunkie Perkins: 31-33-1

The Geek: 30-34-1

Florida -6 v. Bama

The Juice: Florida. Sometimes you have to just go with what  you want to see. Sometimes you have to believe baby Hesuess loves you.

Mike Medallion: Florida. Dear Majik Eiht Bal ($1 to Stu), will reverse-reverse pyschology work here to end Bammers winning ways? My reply is No. Crap. 0-1.

Bunkie Perkins: Bama. Its a pretty evident crisis of faith Im having here by picking against St. Tebow and his band of Christian soldiers, but. while a lesser diety (at least outside of Alabama anyway), Lord Saban’s rule is stern.  I dare not go against it this year.

The Geek. Bama. Let me start by saying how much this pains me to say, but your money should be on Lil Nick and his unhappy elfs.  All of our models have UF winning this game, which I believe they will, but it’s going to be very very close. 

Cincinnati v. Pitt ‘Pick em

TJ: Pitt. As I’ve said before, I cannot pick against a beautiful mustache.

MM: Pitt. Dear Majik Eiht Bal, can the WanStach save me? My sources say no. Damn. 0-2.

BP: Cincy. The Bearcats are surface of the sun hot right now, and while I wouldn’t put it past Wannstedt’s mustache to be flame retardant, I dont think thats enough to get a win here.

The Geek: Cincy. The BearCats are the side here.  Wannstedt and his mustache will put up a fight, but our models have Cincy with the win.  Additionally, this game should easily go over 55.  So if you want Justin’s credit card # to make a wager, just let me know.

Texas -13 v. Nebraska

TJ. Texas. Colt is a goober, but he ain’t cornfed.

MM. Texas.. Dear Majik Eiht Bal, will this be a BLOWOUT (all caps cause it’s Texas, not because I’m screaming)? Don’t count on it. Ehh. 0-3.

BP: Nebraska. The Illuminati, the Rothchilds, Col. Sanders, and whoever else makes up the shadowy group in the BCS will be biting their fingernails i such a worried manner that Houston nutt even thinks its overkill.  Pelini’s defense keeps this one close but McCoy pushes Texas ahead late and possibly solidifies his Heisman chances.

The Geek: Nebraska. Bo Pelini, recently voted to People Magazines’ Top 50 Most Beautiful People, will keep this game extremely close.  Me thinks the Huskers could cause an upset here.  The Huskers are the side.

Ga Tech -1 v. Clemson

TJ: Ga Tech. The better here is the over / under on 15,000 attendance.

MM: Ga Tech Dear Majik Eiht Bal, can the Nerds will make me look smart for once? Very Doubtful. Oh well, here’s to another winless week. Do yourself a favor and pick the teams I didn’t take. Your wallet will thank you.

BP: Clemson. For no reason inparticular.  Clemson is a one man show with CJ Spiller, and like South Carolina showed last week, when you stop that show, Clemson is pretty mediocre.  But Georgia Tech got drilled by Georgia last week, and they stink on ice too.  So there you wave it, a complete wash, so take the point.

The Geek: Ga Tech. Take out your shiniest penny and flip it (Justin should have 20,000 that you can borrow).  That’s what we did.  The Nerds won.  Our models have them wrestling around like little people in jello.  Your guess is ours.

BONUS PICKS

Houston -3 @ East Carolina

TJ: Houston. Is this a real line or did I drink a lot of Bourbon at poker night and read it wrong?

MM: Houston. Is this a real line or did I drink a lot of Bourbon at poker night and read it wrong? – When all else fails Copy the Juice…

Louisiana Tech -18 1/2 v. SJSU

BP: Tech. If no one in Northcentral Louisiana is there to see this game, does it make a sound?  Deer season and indifference prevent anyone from seeing Tech lay the wood to a terrible Spartan team.

New Mexico State (+47.5) @ Boise State

TG: We won’t have any recommended plays this week, unfortunately after pouring over every game there wasn’t a single one that warranted a play.  However, New Mexico State seems to be one of the better bets this weekend (which is frightening), presuming Boise doesn’t get to the number as NMSU projects 0-3 pts).

It’s been an up and down year, but were happy to end it on a good note going 4-1 last week, which should have been 5-0 with any justice.  That brought us to 40-39-2, although we were the terrible beneficiary of bad luck going a combined 2-17-2 on good luck/ bad luck games meaning that we were correct in our analysis on 55 out of 81 games this year or 68%, which is much closer to what our record should have been.  Still we are now 255-155-9 lifetime (62%), which is as good as you’ll find from an honest capper.

Additionally, because of a bet that I made with Justin, I will be flying up to our Nation’s Capital to personally hand deliver 20,000 pennies to Teh Juice.  EAD.

You can sign up to receive the full projections for all of the games this weekend, free of charge!  Mash right….HERE.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s