SEC Predictions…If They Were WCW Wrestlers, The Rematch

Life without college football the last few days has been rewarded with time to reflect on the season gone by, the lessons we learned, the bonds forged, the inevitable realization that I have no idea what Im talking about sometimes.  Case in point, our preseason “SEC Predictions…If They Were WCW Wrestlers” post.  I was hoping that a picture of a shirtless Dusty Rhodes might distract you, the reader, from the such proclamations like “Bama will lose 4 games”.  But Im not even sure the “Bull in the Woods” in all his common glory can distract from my predicting awfulness.  However, let it never be said that I don’t own up to my mistakes…or maybe I just wanted to have that photoshop of Houston Nutt ripping his shirt off make the blog again…either way, here how it all shook out.

The Main Eventers:

Florida (Prediction: 11-1 7-1,  Actual 12-0, 8-0 , WCW Wrestler: Hulk Hogan) No real need to pat myself on the back here.  This was pretty much a given, even though I thought the Gators would drop one in the regular season to either LSU or Georgia.  Hulk Hogan was a decent choice as well, Im pretty sure he cried when the Mega Powers broke up, so Tebow comes out totally justified I think.

LSU (Prediction 9-3 5-3, Actual 9-3 5-3, WCW Wrestler: Dusty Rhodes)  About what we expected, improved, but still coming up short against select rivals, but if close shaves against State and Arkansas, and hell, even Louisiana Tech, go the other way, Les would be looking for work elsewhere.  That being said, Im pretty sure even Dusty knows that you can’t spike the ball with a second left on the clock.

Tennessee (Prediction 7-5 3-5, Actual 7-5 4-4, WCW Wrestler: Glacier) Im not curing cancer here either.  UT was expected to improve but still struggle against the better teams in the conference.  However, as a former police officer, Im not sure that Glacier would have approved of the whole gas station/bebe gun/Prius getaway car caper.

South Carolina (Prediction 7-5 3-5, Actual 7-5 3-5, WCW Wrestler: Ric Flair) Fish in a freaking barrel.  I havent even looked at South Carolina’s yearly win totals for, say, the last 10 years, but Im going to guess that 7-5 pops up quite a few times.  Its like Joe Kane’s disappointing season in “The Program” jinxed that stadium to mediocrity for all time.  And I should have never associated the 16 time World Champion with limoless riding, broke down jet flying, sons of a gun.

Arkansas (Prediction 7-5 3-5, Actual 7-5 3-5, WCW Wrestler: Buff Bagwell) Yet another pretty obvious outcome.  Arkansas was improved, what with their LASERROCKETTARM under center, but defensive deficiencies and some bad luck prevented the Hogs from making the push beyond a bowl date in Memphis.  Thankfully, the type of air brushed attire that Buff Bagwell wears is more than acceptable in the Mid-South.

The Mid Cards

Ole Miss (Prediction 9-3 5-3, Actual 8-4 4-4, WCW Wrestler: Magnum TA)  Call me a homer if you must, but I wasn’t taking full on gulps of the Kool-Aid at the beginning of the season.  I figured the Rebs would drop the usual game to Bama and then the requisite choke jobs on the road, the Egg Bowl, however, was a bit of a suprise.  Saying that, Magnum TA was an excellent representative, flashes of brilliance, followed by a debilitating car crash and a few Jevan Snead INTs.

Vandy (Prediction 3-9 1-7, Actual 2-10 0-8 WCW Wrestler:  Norman Smiley)  I foolishly gave them the token win against State.  Little did I know that they were so deficient at executing that new fangled offense known as the forward pass.  And associating Vandy with Norman Smiley puts Norman in a bad light, he at least won a few.  Should have totally gone with Jim Powers.

Kentucky (Prediction 6-6 2-6, Actual 7-5 3-5, WCW Wrestler: Eddie Guerrero)  The front loaded easy schedule perpetrated year in and year out by Rich Brooks makes a .500 record and a Music City bowl trip inevitable most seasons.  This season, not much different, minus the upset of Auburn.  I also kind of wish I would have gone with Alex Wright over Eddie Guerrero…solely for his dance moves

The Jobbers

Bama (Prediction 8-4 5-3,  Actual 12-0 8-0, WCW Wrestler: Kevin Nash)  Obviously I underestimated the power of Lord Saben and most SEC officials when I made this prediction.  Bama is playing like the best team in the nation and steamrolled through the SEC (minus a little scare versus UT).  They are more Goldberg during his winning streak than Nash during any point in his career…although, some of those Hogan/Nash finishes do look like the SEC had a hand in them.

Auburn (Prediction 5-7 2-6, Actual 7-5 3-5, WCW Wrestler: Scott Hall):  I don’t think anyone expected Auburn to come flying out of the gate the way they did.  And upon further review, they looked more like Rey Mysterio than Scott Hall…Lots of high spots early, but eventually injuries, lack of depth, and Kevin Nash caught up with them.

Georgia (Prediction 9-3 5-3, Actual 7-5 4-4)  I put entirely too much faith in the Ginger Ninja ((c) Orson Swindle) to manage the Dawgs to 9 wins and completely discounted their inability to play anything resembling defense.  Im almost ashamed that i ruined the good name of Y2J on a team thats taken a step or two backwards this season.

Mississippi State (Prediction 2-10 0-8, Actual 5-7 3-5, WCW Wrestler: The Kiss Demon)  Honestly, I just wanted to be able to make a Kiss Demon joke.



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