Author Archives: Michael Medallion

Bama Fan Gets Kids Ready for BCS Championship Game with New Tattoos

“Kids, get the homemade guitar string tat machine and let momma and daddy sleeve you up.” ($1 to Will)

Meet PattyJo Marsh…mother, Bama fan, and amateur tattoo artist. On Friday, PattyJo and her husband were arrested after tattooing six of their children with her homemade tat machine: “a plastic pen body with a needle made of a guitar string connected to an electric motor.” But don’t y0u worry about those kids, for PattyJo, it’s always safety first:

the guitar string that you use in the homemade gun we changed it out every time.

Good to see she’s careful. And just a suggestion, PattyJo, your 7-yr old son that was too young this year for a tattoo, will likely be too young next year too…and probably the year after that. Once he’s 10 years old, well…that’s double digits, so that should be old enough.

[HT: Chip via FB]

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Kevin Johnson: Bama Fan, Pet Smart Peeping Tom

Meet Kevin Johnson from Decatur, Alabama. Kevin loves his Crimson Tide. He’s also a loyal parishoner in the Church of Saban. In his spare time, Kevin enjoys hanging out in the women’s restroom at Pet Smart and taking photos of unsuspecting female patrons in the stalls:

They said when the woman noticed Johnson taking her picture, she screamed and he ran out of the bathroom and left the store.

Officers chased Johnson and caught him a short time later.

Pet Smart, apparently, a favorite spot among voyeurs in North Alabama. Rohl Tahd, Kevin. Rohl Tide. [HT: Goin Once]

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Must Visit Soon

There’s a new place (or rather several new places all in one) for us to lose our money while in that great gambling mecca in the sand, Las Vegas.  After numerous delays and work stoppages (though you couldn’t tell that from the video), the $4.5 Billion (with a “B”) City Center is finally complete and open to empty your wallet. We must visit very, very soon.

[HT: TS]

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Motion to Continue Trial So I Can Yell Rammer Jammer at Texas Fans in Pasadena

 

It’s happened before in Louisiana (for both the Saints and LSU), so really no surprise that some overly-zealous Bama lawyer (redundant, I know) has put on his best houndstooth litigatin’ britches and asked that a trial be put off so that he can attend the BCS National Championship Game against Texas.

What makes it a bit different than the coonass continuances, though still not shocking, is that the Auburn fans on the other side of the courtroom actually opposed the motion. (Note that one of the other attorneys on the case is a former SGA President at Auburn).

Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs.

And to cap everything off, the motion ends as great as it began:

 ROLL TIDE!! (although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels that I need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated. 

The full motion is after the jump…

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LSU Student Section Needs Help During Christmas

This is what happens when you schedule a game against an instate directional regional school (Southeastern Louisiana) during Christmas break. 

[HT: Tiger Droppings]

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King Hippo To Retire

Everyone’s favorite Toughman Boxer, turned professional boxer, turned MMA fighter, Butterbean, has decided to put away his Rocky Balboa-American Hero shorts and hang up his gloves:

JASPER, AL (WBRC) – Jasper’s Eric “Butterbean” Esch has decided to retire from fighting.

The martial artist will fight his last fight on Friday at Boutwell Auditorium.

Esch says he will pass his skills on to his sons, Caleb and Brandon, who are also mixed-martial artists.

You’ll be missed Butterbean. Though honestly, since we weren’t big fans of USA’s Tuesday Night Fights, we didn’t catch much of your professional boxing career. Same for the follow-up MMA career. So, we’ve put together a few youtube videos after the jump as tribute…

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