Category Archives: Alabama Football

A Message from Lord Saban Concerning Tonight’s Proceedings

That is all, carry on.


Get Your Alabama National Championship Gear, Rain, Shine, or Loss

Bama Fan? Then make sure to run over to Hibbets and Academy Sports locations across the state of Alabama immediately following the BCS National Championship Game. Don’t you worry about pesky little details like who won. It appears even with a Bama loss you will be able to pick up Crimson Tide National Championship items (like a houndstooth thong with 13 written on the front) just before they are shipped over to Nicaragua to join other collectors items like New England Patriots Undefeated 2008 Super Bowl Champions Tee Shirts…

(reads “Alabama National Championship Product will be immediately available after the game until 2:00 AM”)



Do What You Will, But Don’t Your Dare Speak Ill of…

The Bear.

This is what happens when you go ahead and claim XIII, rap on Julio, and peep in on Pet Smart bathrooms. Your enemy goes and pulls a fast one on you… ‘dem be fighting words Texicans. And we’ve seen men die for less…


Success Breeds, Well, This…

You see, this is the problem with winning.  Everybody jumps on the bandwagon…People begin making reservations for a trip to Pasadena, they start producing premature Championship schwag, and respected legal professionals start asking for a skip day…a little over the top maybe, but understandable under the circumstances.  But when you start allowing housewives to make rap videos about a star player on the team, thats where a line of socially acceptable fan behavior has to be drawn.  These people have to be stopped.


It Is Already Over

That supposed National Championship Game against Texas in January? Eh. Just an annoying formality. It’s time for lucky #13 and there is no time to waste in celebrating it. We haven’t seen this big of a slam dunk investment since “S: The Coach” stickers were released when Mike Shula was hired.


Motion to Continue Trial So I Can Yell Rammer Jammer at Texas Fans in Pasadena


It’s happened before in Louisiana (for both the Saints and LSU), so really no surprise that some overly-zealous Bama lawyer (redundant, I know) has put on his best houndstooth litigatin’ britches and asked that a trial be put off so that he can attend the BCS National Championship Game against Texas.

What makes it a bit different than the coonass continuances, though still not shocking, is that the Auburn fans on the other side of the courtroom actually opposed the motion. (Note that one of the other attorneys on the case is a former SGA President at Auburn).

Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs.

And to cap everything off, the motion ends as great as it began:

 ROLL TIDE!! (although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels that I need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated. 

The full motion is after the jump…

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LSU Fans Are Picking Sides

LSU fan…not letting their own disappointing season get in the way of a little Bama hate

LSU fans’ hypocrisy only goes so far…the lengths, in this case, planting a sign in their front yard/swamp shoreline to show support for the Longhorns in their upcoming BCS title game against the rival Tide.  Gumbeaux Tess (naturally) is offering this beauty for the reasonable sum of $9 ($10.50 if you want a stake included, which also comes in handy to harpoon nutria and other indigenous varmints).  

This begs the question, who would Alabama have to be playing for LSU fans actually cheer for the Tide?   Notre Dame? USC?  Valley?  The convict team from Necessary Roughness?  The Taliban?  Satan’s minions from the 3rd circle of hell?  Canada?